Port Dingle Blog

2008-09-20T09:03:00.018-04:00

Don’t fall for holiday hype
By Alex Carrier

No need for alarm but there are less than 100 shopping days until Christmas. Don’t shoot the messenger!

The point is not to hurry the holiday but to help you prepare for the ambush of commercialized camaraderie, ho-ho-ho marketing hype and the push to turn your goodwill toward men into buying more goods than you want this holiday season.

The average American is facing higher fuel costs, higher grocery prices, more money out and less coming in. Consumers are cutting back, downsizing and minimizing.

Reason enough then to take this opportunity to do some planning and preparation for the upcoming holiday season and the material mayhem it brings.

Before you are swayed by warm fuzzy commercials attempting to persuade you that the perfect gift (whatever is being advertised) is the only way to bring holiday happiness to those you love, take an unemotional, rational, cold, hard look at your monetary limitations before you hear the first jingle bells.

You are not the only one hurting and now is the perfect time to talk Christmas turkey with family and friends - to discover ways you can all enjoy the season without increasing your debt and stress levels.

Begin with an honest inventory of your finances. Once you have this information, you can determine how much you can realistically spend on holiday gift-giving.

Instead of using your regular income, consider downsizing in some area to save the money for the holidays. This will give you a more immediate connection to the person you are giving a gift. You may find some people are simply not worth the sacrifice.

Do you remember each gift you gave each person last year and the gifts you received from them? This can be a sobering reality check on what is truly important.

Talk with family and friends about replacing gifts to each other with time spent together. Go to a holiday event as a group. Pool resources and energy for the holiday dinner or party. Put your money toward travel to spend time with those you love.

If you are going to travel, make your reservations now. Airlines have cut routes and are filling planes to capacity. If you wait, you may not be able to get to your destination especially at a price you can afford.

If you must give a gift, give quality not quantity. Choose names within the family or social group and give only one nice gift. Using personally compiled gift suggestion lists will help reduce unwanted or undesirable gifts.

There is plenty of time before Thanksgiving to try your hand at making a gift. Do-it-yourself is one way of giving your best.

Even if you decide to buy something, starting now will give you the best chance of getting what you want at a price you can afford. If you do buy something early, make sure you understand and accept the store’s return policy.

The point of planning is not to reduce the pleasure of the holiday but to carry it through into the next year. Giving is supposed to be an enjoyable experience for both people.

When you hear the first strains of “Joy to the World” and begin to feel the pressure of approaching holiday cheer, remember that you are prepared to embrace the spirit of the season with a doable budget, a firm grip on your wallet and anticipation of a truly happy holiday.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 - 2008 Virginia Greene

2008-05-12T05:42:00.008-04:00

Spring bird babies 2008
By Alex Carrier

The Blue Jays
We love watching the birth of spring from feathers to foliage. This year we have a blue jay's nest outside our kitchen window and are watching the progress.

Did you know the Blue Jay is one of the “Johnny Appleseeds” of the bird world, playing an important role in dispersal of acorns, and hence oak trees, in the Midwest.

When the jay's left their nest to find food we discovered four large eggs - cream colored with brown speckles. The inside of the nest is amazingly round and smooth.

It would seem we were not the only ones doing birdwatching. While we were watching the blue jays, they were watching us - or so says this study. Are you looking at me?

We look forward to seeing the babies. While we wait, we found these neat pages on Blue Jays.

Blue Jays at Cornell Lab of Ornithology From Cornell's site - listen to Blue Jay's call (my dog tried to find the bird in the speaker when this played.)

The Canadian Geese

Even though Virginia is just supposed to be a migratory stop for our Canadian feathered friends, many of them have decided they like Virginia, Greene County and, in particular, the golf course and have become permanent residents.

These two were parading their babies during a golf tournament but when my husband approached to take their photos, they were less than hospitable. Even the golf course cats (necessary to pest control) don't bother these residents. Smart cats!

Cornell has some great facts about the Canadian Goose and this sound recording of their loud call/honk.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene www.vgreene.com and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 - 2008 Virginia Greene

2007-12-24T18:49:00.000-05:00

The Eleventh Hour Christmas Gift Save

By Alex Carrier

What were you thinking? It’s Christmas Eve and you still have gifts to buy. You used your best excuse last year with the whole “kidnapped by aliens” story.

Your Christmas goose is cooked – or is it? Believe it or not, you can still find a gift as long as you have a sense of humor and a little creativity.
Some stores might be open but if you have waited until all the regular options are gone, there are still places to shop.

Twenty-four-hour grocery stores stay open later on Christmas Eve or may even open a few hours on Christmas Day. Obvious choices include fresh flowers, cards and foods. Larger scale food stores even stock non-food items to consider.

If other last-minute shoppers have taken all your ideas, you are still in luck. These suggestions may be unusual (the sense of humor helps here) and not what you wanted (remember you are desperate) but they will allow you to arrive with gift in hand.

Look at everything in terms of containers and contents. A pretty container holding something you don't like can always be emptied to hold something else. Check your home before departure for containers you can fill or use one from the store.

Here are some ideas. Give a pasta gift. Fill a colander with pasta and a container of sauce. Add bread sticks and Parmesan cheese. Top with tongs and brightly colored towel. If you want to be fancy (and bribe your gift recipient with an more expansive show of generosity), go with gourmet products, fresh if possible and top the gift with a grater and a chunk of fresh Parmesan cheese. Add a good bottle of wine and perhaps the person receiving your gift will toast you over a nice Italian dinner.
If you want gifts for children, get cookie and brownie mixes. Pile them up in the containers needed to bake them. Top with a bottle of special sprinkles and a card offering to give them a “baking” lesson. This can double as a gift to the parents who can take a few hours off together while you are in charge of the children.

Go chocolate for the chocoholic on your list. In a large mug or teapot, put gourmet candies and a selection of hot chocolate mixes. A small bag of mini marshmallows will warm any chocolate lover’s heart. Can’t find a mug or teapot? Use a large microwave safe measuring cup or small sauce pot.

Go ice cream with some dishes, gourmet ice cream, an ice cream scoop and assorted toppings. Put it all in a small cooler for extra effect and portability.

If you want to stay away from food products, check out the sundries and pharmacy aisles. Get the weekend warrior a microwavable heating pad and Epsom salts.

Fill a foot massager or footbath with pedicure products and soft socks. For something a little personal, buy scented candles, baby oil or lotion and attach a note offering a massage.

Give an emergency cold care kit with heating pad, soothing rub, a box of tissues, cough drops, a digital oral thermometer, and a paperback book or two.

If you are going to a home with children, buy a large trash container. Inside, put a disposable camera, a photo album or frame, and assorted batteries for all the toys that don’t come with enough supplies. Offer to take pictures of all the fun. You can add a bottle of wine or a bottle of pain reliever for the parents.

This will also work if your recipient has a digital camera. Buy some photograph quality paper and add an extra frame or two. Make sure you take time to take a picture of the whole family together.

Does the person you are buying a gift for have pets? Pack some toys and treats into a fancy food dish or pet bed. Add some large fluffy towels for drying off wet pets - especially dogs.

So, it’s the eleventh hour and even grocery stores are closed. You are not yet out of luck. Some gas station food marts are open. Although selection is limited, you can still make do.

Containers may be your biggest problem but most of these stores carry coffee mugs and thermal beverage containers. Don’t forget coolers and plastic food containers. Even plastic drink cups will suffice.

Buy a sports television survival kit. In whatever container you have chosen, put a selection of nuts, chips, popcorn and snack items. If you can get a small cooler, you can add dip and cold beverages.

If the gift is for a commuter, get the mug and a gift certificate for coffee. You can also buy coffee, sugars, creamers and some breakfast snacks.
Put together an emergency travel kit. The overnight kit would include toothpaste and brush, soap, deodorant, and anything else available. Slip in a small sewing kit.

An auto emergency kit might include gloves, lock deicer, ice scraper and some snacks in case the driver gets caught in traffic or an accident. If there is kitty litter available, add that for traction under tires. Disposable cell phones or phone cards are a thoughtful addition.

Most grocery and gas stores offer gift cards. Even if you have been reduced to the gift card selection, put it in something interesting and wrap it up.

If even the gas store is closed and you have a computer, fate has handed you a “get out of jail free” card. With Internet hookup and a credit card, you can get gift certificates emailed to you within minutes. If you need a gift for someone out-of-town, you can email the gift certificate directly to them.

To make the certificate special, wrap it in a box with a picture of the item you think they would like and you have provided sufficient funds to purchase. Try to get a certificate to a company that has an actual store where the gift recipient lives. Some people prefer to shop in person. If it is a catalogue company, have the current catalogue mailed to them.
Keep your sense of humor and holiday cheer. Between people who care for each other, it truly is the thought and not the gift that counts.

If you like this blog, get more holiday help and humor and read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

2007-08-27T16:00:00.000-04:00

Pete – Repeat – Delete
By Alex Carrier

Pete and Repeat are sitting on a wall. Pete falls off. Who is left?

Pete and Repeat are sitting on a wall. Pete falls off. Who is left?

When you’re kid some jokes are just funnier than others. When you are an adult, those same jokes may not be as much amusing as they are annoying.

Kind of like boomerang email. The Pete and Repeat space squatters, Internet invaders of Inboxes.

They are the emails you receive and delete (and then delete the deleted emails) and; then, some not-distant-enough time in the not-far-enough-in-the-future, they reappear in your Inbox – again.

Same email but usually trapped in the endless folds of a forward of a forward of a forward from some well-meaning friend of a friend of a friend who just wanted to share this interesting, important, must-see information.

I have seen it! I saw it the first time and the second time and I checked it out and it is no longer true or never was true or “okay it’s true but I know it already.” Enough is enough.

Speaking of childhood, when I was a kid I loved the television show Mission: Impossible. I loved the drama, the deception, the devious disguises and the fact the good guys always won. Not to mention the awesome music and that burning fuse.

I also loved the part where the mission orders said, “This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.”

Don’t you just love a happy ending?

Read Deja True @ www.vgreene.com for the latest used-to-be true, here it comes again email.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene www.vgreene.com and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

2007-08-12T11:40:00.000-04:00

Three-letter weather
By Alex Carrier

It’s Virginia. It’s summer. It’s the weather you wear. Or, in meteorological terms: hazy, hot and humid.

I am not a great fan of summer weather. The heat, the humidity, the oppressive warmth really toast me.

Summer weather is no surprise even if the season seems abnormally hotter and longer. Every August in Virginia, you can count on the heat and humidity and the ever present possibility of sudden showers.

Local meteorologists repeat themselves with every forecast. “Hazy, hot and humid with a chance of late afternoon and evening thunderstorms.”

Do you suppose the weather reporters get tired of saying the same thing day after day after day? I say, this year; we give the forecasters a break from redundancy.

I think every able-voiced man, woman and child (anyone who can say these words and keep a semi-serious countenance on video, and if your dog can do why not?) should make a short tape.

All the would-be weather prognosticators need to do is look straight at the lens and say, “Hazy, hot and humid with a chance of late afternoon and evening thunderstorms.”

The news department could put all of these weather want-to-be recordings on a continuous loop of video. Each day, as time rolls around for the repetitive prediction; a new unknown face would voice the familiar words and then fade to commercial.

Send your videos today.

Who knows? We might find the next best weatherman or woman. At the least, we would give all their current counterparts a reprieve from repetition.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene www.vgreene.com and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

2007-07-23T16:17:00.000-04:00

Television, Telephones, Daylight Saving Time: Things My Dogs Don’t Understand.
By Alex Carrier

“There is no one out there,” I assure my madly barking dogs as I open the front door.

They peer out suspiciously, stretching themselves to look onto the porch with only their twitching snouts crossing the threshold.

They look left. They look right. They look at each other and then turn their heads to stare at me intently.

What have I done with the person at the door? The one who rang the doorbell?

“It was just the television,” I tell them, then repeat it very slowly. “It was just the television.”

My dogs sit and gaze at me expectantly. Why am I trying to convince them that the doorbell they heard was on the noisy, somewhat interesting box in the den when the doorbell is at the front door?

They continue staring at me until I distract them by suggesting they go into the backyard and chase the squirrels. They are happy to cooperate.

Later, when the dogs have come inside to block my way by lounging across as much of the floor as they can fit their bodies; the phone rings. They do not move so I pick my way carefully through tails and paws to reach the telephone.

The minute I begin speaking, my pups jump in a flurry of black and white fur to race to my side and begin barking at me.

“It’s just the phone,” I tell them patiently as if they can understand the concept of a telephone any better than the concept of a television.

I argue this point with my mother each time she calls and spends much of our long distance telephone time fussing at her dog while he fusses right back at her.

“Mother, are you alone in the room?” I ask.

“Yes,” she says.

“Well, you are alone and talking and the only other creature in the room is the dog, so, of course, he thinks you are talking to him.”

“After all,” I continue emphatically as if this time Mom will acknowledge the logic of my argument “dogs do not understand phones!”

She agrees but continues fussing at the dog telling him to give it up. He doesn’t. Neither does she. The talking, fussing and barking continue until we hang up.

At 4:30 in the afternoon, the true test of my pet patience begins. One dog starts pacing. She follows me from desk to door to desk, her nose against the back of my knee.

It is nearing 5:00 PM and she knows it is time for her dinner. She paces more and starts panting in badly suppressed excitement. The other dog joins her and they both pace and pant and stare at me intently.

Actually, doggie dinner time is at 6:00 PM but, alas, the dogs do not understand Daylight Saving Time. They remain doggedly on Standard Time and are circling me like sharks in anticipation of a meal.

Being the human-in-charge and the Alfa female to boot, I am unrelenting and ignore them while I wait for 6:00 PM DST to arrive.

I know they do not understand. They are just dogs.

My girlfriend and I are exploring these phenomena of nature an hour later as we try to chat on the phone but find ourselves continually interrupted by husbands who must tell us or ask us something right now and children circling like sharks and inquiring if it isn’t time for dinner.

They are wonderful husbands and children. We know they do not understand. Perhaps the dogs can explain it to them.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene www.vgreene.com and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

2007-06-23T23:44:00.000-04:00

Tigers Stalk Greene County
By Alex Carrier

I first spotted them beyond the bank beside my house. Just a twitch in the new green of spring, a shadow, a different dark.

Days later, along the crest of the hill, perhaps a breeze fluttered the tops of grasses or perhaps it was a phantom stripe of tawny rust young with dusty spots. A moment, a movement and the glimpse was gone.

Then last week, beside the beach, I spotted a group low against the sand, crouched along the water’s edge, hiding amid the bushes that brush their lowest limbs across the lake’s face leaving ripples that travel down the arc of the shore. Hidden, then not, in the dark glossy leaves, a peek of brilliant orange, a flash of gold or was it just the sunlight playing in the lush foliage?

They stalk our quiet county, these tigers. Alone and in groups large and small, they race the cars along the back roads, play amidst the fields like striped bronze ghosts who then slip quickly amongst the ancient trees and heavy kudzu draped across power lines and old timber.

I try not to look too close. You must be careful you see not to startle or agitate them by looking them straight in the eye – unless, of course, you are invited.

This morning, early, when dawn had not quite opened her eyes and clouds rolled and left their hollows to commute to high-rise offices; I saw the tigers advance. They too, were still sleepy from night; still tucked close but awakening.

Then they pounced. Their mouths opened wide, the deep orange petals yawning to expose butter-yellow throats.

They pitch and roll in the sunlight and wind, my tiger lilies, and coyly invite the birds and butterflies and bees to come sip and take some pollen on to friends. These lilies, unfettered by gardens or gardeners and left to nature’s fancy, are spread beyond the mere boundaries of my yard.

While the fireflies lay claim to the flickering orange/yellow of summer evening; it is the tiger lilies who proclaim their dominion over summer’s day. There is no acre of county uninhabited by one or two or a cluster or even an entire family filling fields with blossoms.

The tigers stretch with laughing yawns and happily purr about their wildness.

If you like this blog, you should see what is on our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

2007-04-26T06:44:00.000-04:00

The cat with one black shoe
By Alex Carrier

Have you seen a cat with one black shoe? I know it has only one shoe because I have the other. I’m sure I had both just yesterday. I did not notice myself listing when I walked.

Yet, here I stand with one lonely shoe in hand. Not expensive shoes. Not new shoes. Not Manolo Blahnik’s or Jimmy Choo’s.

Certainly Sex in the City would not feature this shoe and no housewife is desperate enough to ask for it at a fancy store but the missing shoe matches a perfectly good shoe and I would like to have it back.

I know the cat that has the shoe, because it is my cat Zoie. Out of 2 cats and 2 dogs, she is the only creature in the house interested in my shoes. I do not think this is out of any love for me but because shoes – well, they smell and animals seem to like smell.

I am sure it is my cat since she does not do untoward things with my husband’s shoes but then she could fit inside my husband’s shoe and I do pride myself on having much smaller footwear. This cat is a huntress and she loves to hunt my shoes. I guess the smell makes them easy to find.

She loves to hunt, kill and then carry off one shoe. If only she would take two, I might think I had simply misplaced them and move on to another pair or perhaps, even forget about the shoes entirely since there would be no lonesome, pathetic shoe crying out to be reunited with its mate. (I understand that by nature, shoes are monogamous and if one of the pair dies, the mate meets its demise soon after.)

So, I have one shoe. A black shoe, worn and scuffed and bulging at the seams and useless without its partner.

I would give it up but, I like these shoes. They are that rare footwear find – a comfortable fit. These are “my feet are killing me and I know the heat has expanded them two sizes and I would go barefoot only my feet hurt too much to walk on them” shoes.

Have you seen a cat with one black shoe?

Photo of Zoie by Alex Carrier

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

2007-04-19T17:05:00.000-04:00

Don’t Blame Mother Nature
By Alex Carrier

Spring was here. I know I saw it – the colorful flowers, the green grass, birds building nests, people prodding green life from winter-brown lawns. Then, poof, it was gone with a freezing wind.

While cuddling up against the cold, I noticed a lot of chatter about how Mother Nature had tricked us and heard several none-too-kind words about the good lady.

Don’t blame Mother Nature. This is the work of that chilly curmudgeon Old Man Winter.

Oh, yeah, you’ve seen his work before. Frosted flowers shivering in their crystal cloaks. New buds bent and burned by cold.

Even animals are confused and seem to constantly check the timing of sunrise and sunset to reassure themselves spring is the season.

Spring season is, of course, locational. Our neighbors 30 minutes to the south in Charlottesville but a greater distance south in latitude always suffer spring a few weeks earlier than we do and enjoy fall a few weeks later.

Personally, I like cooler weather since you can comfortably snuggle up to your keyboard and work with little or no outside distraction. No longing to walk barefoot in new green grass or to lose yourself listening to romantic feathered Romeos tunefully tempting their mates.

But Old Man Winter, like all crusty curmudgeons, will go grumbling on his way. His dreary gray days will give way to color so intense it stains the sky and turns lawns into rivers of all hues imaginable. He’ll take his minion Jack Frost with him and the buds will not fear to stand straight and open their petals to the sun.

Mother Nature will sweep through our hollows and along the Blue Ridge Mountains and coax new life from every possible portion. We will remember why we love living here and will enjoy the warm days and cool nights only Spring can bestow.

Until Summer steams in.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene www.vgreene.com and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

2007-04-05T11:08:00.000-04:00

Cyber Voodoo
By Alex Carrier

Are there exorcists for possessed computers? Do witchdoctors and shamen make cyber calls to depossess your cpu?

While my drastardly machine did not begin spinning on the desk or spitting out split pea soup it certainly behaved in a manner totally unfitting for a valued business associate. Not to mention the fact it was driving me even crazier than my normal not-so-normal!

The computer whined. It flipped out. It shut down. It threw tech tantrums.

While my on-site tech support (i.e. husband) ordered parts and made temporary repairs, I contemplated cyber voodoo. Who voodoo?

Nothing organic, I am sure but some silvery silicon shaman with flashing LED eyes and dreadlocks of Ethernet and ribbon cables with picks of memory sticks and dangling flash cards.

Cloaked by a hissing aura of excited electrons, the which doctor gyrates around the offensive/offending computer spitting out sparks of bits and bytes while it untangles the web, unknots the net, keys up the keyboard, untraps the mouse and monitors the display all the while chanting cyber voodoo of hertz, mega, this-a, that-a.

With a sizzling sigh, the computer huffs out the carbonized electrified essence of evil that has here-to-fore rendered my pleasantly productive powered partner into a snarling, recalcitrant, voracious file-eating malevolent mega-monster.

A flash, a puff, a swoosh and a whoosh. The air clears. Cyber spirit and cyber voodoo are gone. A heavy sigh of relief and my computer and I are back in business.

Reality check. My husband does his own tech magic and all is well for now. But cyber voodoo is only a thought away if needed.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

2007-03-22T15:08:00.000-04:00

Taking the learning curve without crashing
By Alex Carrier

Just when you think you have a grip on life (I’d settle for just getting a grip on myself but that is another blog) reality rolls you over. Nothing is more likely to wipe you out than trying to learn something new while everyone is watching.

Come on, you’ve been there. The sweaty palms, the heaving stomach, the heart beating out of your chest like some cartoon character.

Childhood is the worst because there are just so many firsts: first time speaking in front of the class, reading out loud, first time dancing, kissing…. As adults, we long to rest on our laurels and never face those psychologically perilous moments again. As if.

Life is a long learning curve and we are all bad drivers. Sometimes we just get a warning, sometimes a ticket. If we are really lucky, we only crash and burn a few times in a lifetime.

The worst part is all the rubberneckers. E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y is watching, especially those who will cause us the most embarrassment.

Even our friends can’t help themselves. They want the best for us but they are equally observant when we take the checkered flag and when we hit the wall. (Yes, I have been watching way too much NASCAR but you gotta’ love a sport where a competitor crosses the finish line upside down.)

If you recently checked my website (http://www.vgreene.com/) you may have read an article on my friend Ann Mullen. Ann, a popular local mystery writer, is finally able to bring her fourth book out to the public but not without a litany of missteps, mishaps, and mayhem.

The road ahead was clear. Yeah, like that is gonna’ happen.

She just traded one bad trip for another. (She is also my source for the term tripping with no luggage – but that is also another blog.)

Being a bit of a *ahem* control freak (aren’t we all), she decided to take over her website. Learning curve ahead.

Well, to be honest, who can better express you – than you? So, she took on the task of learning the program her webmaster used to create and maintain the site. Suggested speed limit – slow.

Ann is smart and mechanically inclined. She took classes. She prepared. She accepted learned assistance. Apply brakes now.

She made the changes. She made the site more personal. She was pleased with the results. Prepare for skid.

She loaded the page to the web. Crash and Burn.

If you care to rubberneck, check http://www.aftonridge.com/.

I believe the damage is minor and mechanics (and Ann) are smoothing out the dents and dings, applying new paint and getting her back on the road. She’ll be running smoothly in no time.

I remember a friend of mine who owned a very expensive sports car and constantly grumbled. “This car comes with 2 seats: 1 for the driver and 1 for the mechanic.”

Life should be so easy.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene www.vgreene.com and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

It's Not Crapper!

2007-01-27T20:08:00.000-05:00

Posted by Alex Carrier

Poor Thomas Crapper. An unfortunate surname and the ignominy of being associated with, of all things, invention of the toilet.

January 27th is set aside as Thomas Crapper day. It is the anniversary of his demise not his birth – yet another low blow.

I admit, I gave merit to all the stories about connections to the name and the invention until I discover that all this talk about Thomas and the toilet is well – pretty much – crap.

First, the word crap has roots well back into the Middle Ages - long before Thomas made his way into this world.

In Wallace Reyburn’s biography of Crapper Flushed with Pride, Thomas’ death is placed as January 17, 1910. After a decade long battle clogged the courts with papers, photos and finally a death certificate, the date was officially changed to January 27th. Hence, Thomas Crapper Day.

And, while Thomas Crapper did own a plumbing company of sorts and did have patents on drains, joints and manhole covers, he did not invent the toilet.

So, on this Happy Thomas Crapper Day, I thank the deceased for not starting the war between the sexes over whether the toilet lid stays up or down.

Hello, it’s a lid. Lids go on top of things. It should stay down when not in use.

I will also refrain from casting aspersions on poor Thomas for the debate between toilet tissue elitists over the proper placement of the roll on the holder. Does the paper roll down the top or up from the bottom?

I vote for over the top since the decorated sheet is on top. What’s the point of having a decorated sheet on 2-ply tissue if you put it on the bottom where it cannot be seen properly?

And, no getting bunched up over exactly when the fan should be turned on, double flushing, not flushing and leaving just one sheet on the roll so the next person has to take care of replacing the toilet tissue.

On Thomas Crapper Day, I say thank you for just being you, Thomas. Bet that’s a load off his mind.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2007 Virginia Greene

2006-12-31T22:42:00.000-05:00

The New Year’s Resolution Solution
By Alex Carrier

To resolve or not to resolve,
That is always the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to just admit defeat,
Or to take arms against inevitable failure…

As far as I am concerned, Hamlet had it easy. All he had to deal with was betrayal, deceit, murder, treachery and, alas, poor Yorick.

Okay, he had it hard but I bet he never got caught in the quagmire of making and breaking New Year’s resolutions. All that pressure to find some resolution you think you would like to, should like to, could begin to keep.

Where to begin? You got the diet, money, relationship, better person, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah and so forth, and so forth litany of possible choices. Possible, maybe even probable, but highly unlikely undoable resolutions.

Then there is the old paradox of avoidance through the declaration “I am not going to make a resolution this year!” Which is, of course, a resolution and you managed to both make it and break it before you even had time to write it down.

This year, I determined to get myself out of this mental and social dilemma. (Yes, when compared to global warming, world hunger, sickness and poverty it is a bit absurd but then we all need some absurdity at least once a year.)

Eureka! I think I’ve got it. While pondering the problem, I thought upon the Seven-percent solution (Sir Arthur’s novel not Sherlock’s addiction). A resolution solution is what is needed.

My dear Watson, it is elementary. I resolve to make one resolution this year.

Having done both and having succeeded, I can now turn my uncanny yet bizarre brain towards a more pedestrian question like say, oh, does my butt look big in this dress?

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-12-26T20:05:00.000-05:00

Time’s 2006 Person of the Year – It had to be You
By Alex Carrier

I want to thank Time Magazine for selecting me, my parents for fueling my imagination and curiosity, my family for helping my get it right, my husband for supporting me in so many ways, my friends for sticking by me…

Okay, so none of us wrote an acceptance speech for this one. We didn’t lose it, misplace it, get it wet, shred it or otherwise make it illegible.

We can’t even say it was an honor just to be nominated because – well, gosh darn – we didn’t know we were even in the running. So, we can’t forget to thank someone unless we extend our heartfelt gratitude to – US!

Simply by my writing this blog and you reading it, we prove what Time Magazine gave as their reason for making You (Me, Us) their 2006 Person of the Year. We proved that the everyman/woman is everybody’s man/woman.

Who would have thought we would swarm the World Wide Web like rush hour computer commuters to tell our stories, show our home movies, become our own news reporters, movie-makers, writers, stars, directors and truly awful overnight hits?

Ah, yes –we were the Numa Numa guy and Star Wars/Jedi knight guy. We have outscooped many a meganews corporation and become huge music/movie hits without networks, record publishers or studios. We are the World Wide Web Media.

We have even learned to use the freedom (and mostly free room) of the Internet to make our personal pitch to anyone with a mouse and a modem and proven we can sell just about anything.

Even when we were bad, we found an audience and when we really bad we found fandom. No stone has been left unturned, no niche unfilled, no rule unbroken and no cliché unspoken.

We have been downright awful, rude, crude and socially unacceptable. We have also been inspired, imaginative and magnificent.

Lord only knows where we will go from here. We might take over the world but I doubt it. After all, I am a writer and wish my own piece of the publishing pie but welcome the addition we all can make to our communal content.

So, I hope while you are reading and surfing, you catch the web wave my way while I am out seeing what the rest of You/Me/Us have been up to today. We’ll meet sometimes and miss many more but we do have a universe of places to go and people to almost see.

All I can say is, this year - it was about Time.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-12-13T04:35:00.000-05:00

Dead Squirrels - Tales Don’t Tell
By Alex Carrier

People who work on computers can be a cranky lot – especially when something comes between them and technology. Like – say for instance – lack of electricity!

Oh, yes, I’m used to the “it’s lightening outside so perhaps you should not be touching a piece of electrical equipment” need to get off the computer. Or even the, “what do you mean we should check with the electric company before we dig” interruption of power.

Neither of these applies to the problem inconveniently, irritatingly and, far too constantly, bringing on a good case of author’s ire and writer’s wrath.

The morning is crisp with early winter and sunny in the way that brightens the sky but doesn’t warm it. The husband is off to work, the pets are fed and comfy and I am ready and eager to start writing.

I sit at the computer waiting for the first burst of morning inspiration. The air explodes with noise and everything electric in the house goes completely, irrevocably, deadly quiet. I am faced with the black screen of nothingness. Drat!

There are several of us in the neighborhood who work from our homes and computers are integral to our business; so, it is no surprise to me when I step outside to find a surly group of equally annoyed and frustrated friends.

We converge on our neighbor’s yard knowing what we will find has created this interruption in our morning routine. The fuse is off on the power pole and on the ground is the still sizzling carcass of a squirrel.

The tail is frizzed, the whiskers blackened cinders and the fur smoked. This squirrel is fried, toast, deceased, Kaput, dead, and so is our power.

Live squirrels are delightful to watch. This is the time when they are courting, females coyly twitching their tails come-hither to the hapless males who chase but never catch them. There is a lot of activity so spring should bring many young.

Unfortunately, squirrel antics are interrupting our technology driven home-based industries on a regular, sometimes daily, basis. Not to mention turning several lovely, intelligent women into irascible, irritable, raging lunatics. Like the dead squirrel, it is not a pretty sight.

Which brings me to the conundrum of genetic memory and survival of the fittest. Genetic memory is that wonderful ability nature has for passing along important information from one generation to the next. Like, eating good; not eating, not so good.

Genetic memory is vital to survival of the fittest and the species but here is the rub. The squirrels who have learned the danger of the power line have not passed that genetic memory along to offspring.

And since dead squirrels tell no tales, then I suppose we will all just go back to our homes and wait for the power to be restored – again. So much for deadlines.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-11-18T20:26:00.000-05:00

10-4 Good-bye
By Alex Carrier

No more good buddy for emergency services. After decades of using the 10 code system on radios, law enforcement has gone layman language.

Makes good sense, especially after 9-11 when the different 10 code systems for different agencies made communication difficult, sometimes impossible. But still, it is a sad farewell for those of us non-law enforcement who felt a comradeship while riding along with the boys in blue as we listened to our radios or home scanners.

Baby Boomers and late show/TV Land watchers may remember “good buddy”, “put the hammer down”, “Smokey alert” and “we got us a convoy”. Non-truckers got the lead out buying CB radios and reaching out for the companionship and good chatter traveling America’s roads.

Many of us caught the CB bug after watching Smokey and the Bandit. There was bad boy, Bandit Burt before the ManClub, Sally post Gidget and pre Steel Magnolias, the short and tall of Paul Williams and Pat McCormick and good buddy/backup Snowman Jerry Reed. Did I forget the ultimate Sherriff du jour Jackie Gleason? Who could resist joining the fun?

Suddenly, thousands of vehicles sprouted antennas and the airways became jammed with Bandit wantabes mauling the lingo and having a mostly wondrous time chatting with the hardworking men and women who had largely gone unnoticed by the average consumer of the goods those truckers hauled across the nation.

My CB came in handy each time I moved because, although I was usually making great time, I was frequently totally lost. Many a trucker helped me turn around and head for the correct exit before I ended up too many miles away from where I was headed and always going the wrong direction.

During my short stint as police dispatcher, I admit to difficulty learning all the code and made more than a few hopefully hilarious mistakes. It did slow things down while trying to remember the right code for the situation.

I suppose the truckers will still claim the 10 code as their own language though I see many now with more cell-phones than CBs. Emergency personnel will be able to their job a lot easier when they aren’t trying to figure out the correct code for “there’s an alligator in my backyard” or “there are cattle loose on the highway” (yes, I did have to call out for help with those).

Everyone and everything have their times but I have to say “I will miss you 10-4. Good bye, good buddy.”

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-11-12T03:25:00.000-05:00

Thank you is not enough
Posted by Alex Carrier

We welcomed the strangers into town. Men and women bearing our wounds, carrying our hopes and fears, showing our strength.

We came together as a nation to honor their dedication, as a community to celebrate their courage and as individuals to thank them for their many sacrifices.

At the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, we joined together to remember all those who served us and our country; the veterans, those on active duty, those here with us this Veterans Day and those with us yet far away.

Veterans Day is not about superheroes but about human beings wiling to what must be done to keep us safe. It is about men and women who go where we fear, who bear our burdens through times we cannot imagine and who keep with each breath the promise of our freedom.

We, in turn, owe them our respect, our admiration, our support, our prayers and our lives because these are the times when thank you is not enough.

We who benefit from your sacrifice will cherish and keep alive the freedom you protect. We will honor you as everyday people called to do extraordinary deeds. And we will nurture the respect and gratitude that is your due.

Check our magazines for more about our Veterans Day celebration and our journey to Arlington National Cemetery.

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-10-20T03:26:00.000-04:00

Fire on the Mountains
Posted by Alex Carrier
Photos by Lou Page

It begins. One forked tongue of sunny yellow licks the green brow of the Blue Ridge Mountains. One leaf, then several, one tree, then more.

That yellow ember ripens, heats to blast brilliant orange into fiery crimson and deep-roasted hues of scarlet and burgundy.

In places, the flame dims, dies while naked branches rise up from hillsides and valleys, ridges and hollows of crinkled, curled bronze and copper and faded crackled brown.

Smoke rings of morning fog dim the blaze. Evergreens in dark loden clocks watch as sunrise lights the Eastern Shore, warms its way across Tidewater, past the Piedmont to glow along the ridge of the Appalachians.

Fall in Greene County is brazen, breathtaking. Each morning we, the Blue Ridge’s lucky neighbors, open our doors to front yards profuse with autumn color that races up the ridges to fall beyond the horizon.

It is wildfire season and we carefully search for smoke masquerading as fog or blazes hiding amongst the fiery color. This is no conflagration of disaster though.

This cauldron consumes the Phoenix of summer and begins nature’s long sleep beneath banked ashes of winter snow.

We will love that season as well and marvel at our frosted breath and the creaking of trees rubbing their branches together for warmth in winter wind.

And, when we have had our fill of winter’s pleasantries and pastimes, a feathered Phoenix will rise again along the Blue Ridge and display plumage of beryl and emerald and jade.

Don’t be teased by others who might promise the best performance of this fall. Come stand by us as we watch with awe as autumn turns Greene County yellow and gold and orange and red and bronze – again.

To find out about more about the four-seasons of beauty by the Blue Ridge in Greene County, go to http://www.vgreene.com/ or www.vgreene.com/greenelite. Check for the latest in fall festivals, arts and crafts, family fun and autumn activities. Read about our neighbors, our community, poems, essays and more on these free online magazines. Recipes, information, entertainment and our voices from the Blue Ridge and Greene County, Virginia.

© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-09-03T21:45:00.000-04:00

Live, play and work in Greene County
Posted by Alex Carrier

We love Greene County, Virginia. We love living here. We love playing here. We love working here.

It’s nice to know that others who might want to join our little piece of paradise have an opportunity to do all three – live, play AND work in serene Greene County.

Let’s be honest. Living and playing is supported by working. If you can’t find work; everything else is a lot harder.

July’s unemployment ratings put Virginia fourth place from the lowest unemployment in the national with an rate of 3.2%. That compares with the national rate of 4.6%.

Greene County is doing even better. In fact, this last March, Greene had the lowest unemployment rating in the state.

Greene – March – Unemployment – 1.7%

Seems businesses are happy in Greene County and good business means more work. No surprise to us.

This Labor Day it’s nice to know most of our neighbors are able to work so they can live and play right here in our little heaven on earth – Greene County, Virginia.

Come visit. Stay awhile. Find out why time spent in serene Greene is a great time.

Life is good. Play is plentiful. And work is there to be had for those who want it.

Have a safe Labor Day.

Photo of the good life in Greene by Lou Page

Read more by our authors and discover more about the good life in Greene County and the surrounding areas of Virginia at our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-08-20T00:02:00.000-04:00

Begin
as you intend
to go on
By Alex Carrier

Excellent advice given me by my mother before I married. I have dutifully passed it on.

It is good advice except for one little, make that large, problem. How do you know how you intend to go on?

Baby Boomers have lots of experience with this troublesome conundrum when applied to technology.

Remember 8-track versus cassette tapes? The smaller cassette won but dusty 8-tracks still pack basements, attics and garage sales.

The Beta/VHS battle began. According to most techknow-it-alls of my acquaintance, Beta was the better format yet; VHS had better marketing and won out in the end.

A few Beta die-hards hoard their aging technology, pamper crumbling equipment and people a musty underground of those who knew better and still lost.

The current video-recording race rages between DVR and Blu Ray technology. I’m still trying to decide what to do with my library of VHS tapes.

Which brings me to websites. Having just survived the disruption and frustration of changing our host provider, I now find certain parts of our website need upgrading.

There should be an easier way. I am sure there is. My only question is – could someone please tell me how I intend to go on before I begin?

If you like this blog read our free web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

Weather forecasting ala Hollywood

2006-07-15T21:35:00.000-04:00

By Alex Carrier

Local weather forecasts said we were possibly starting a drought period. The National Weather Service Drought Monitor reported us in a moderate drought condition.

Yet, there in the green fields and Blue Ridge Mountains of Central Virginia, Hollywood was building an ark –half of one to be exact.

The life-size (assuming Hollywood knows the length of a cubit) wooden boat was part of a set for Evan Almighty, the upcoming sequel to the hit movie Bruce Almighty.

True-life or not, half not whole, the vessel was something to behold. It caught the eye of Chandler McQuoid who kindly snapped this photo for us.

The astounding part is that, no sooner was the crew ready to film the “water scene”, than the proverbial heavens opened.

We had enough rain to cause localized flooding. We had thunder and lightening and trees down and power out.

Perchance or precognition?

Read more on the ark, plus stories, pictures and a little something for every interest at our web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

Pardon my brainbunnies!

2006-06-19T18:42:00.000-04:00

By Alex Carrier

I am particularly annoyed with the term user friendly. I am a user and I am feeling decidedly unfriendly at this moment.

Endless hours, countless calories and a plethora of patience have been applied to making changes in our web magazines. Trying to make it better has taken a turn into the nasty neighborhood of just plain trying to make it work.

Would seem a simple enough process (since I am using some of that “user friendly” software) but I am beginning to feel as if I were dealing with the most alien, obdurate, peevish, moody, obnoxious system in the universe. This is based on the perfectly reasonable fact that the problem could not possibly be me.

In the process, I have moved items, tripped over things, sorted thru countless information and come up with an immense herd of brainbunnies.

Not dustbunnies with their composition somewhere between long gone ancestors come to visit and bug debris (let’s not go there).

Brainbunnies are those ethereal, invisible, completely obvious bits of pieces of stuff that come out of your brain when you are doing synaptic reorganization in an attempt to find a particular piece of information that might help you in your current endeavor.

I found Cobol, Pascal, Fortran, discrete mathematics, and other remnants of my higher education. Not getting any help there.

Therefore, I will continue cursing, begging, screaming and praying for assistance in getting all my changes to work correctly.

In the meantime, please pardon the brainbunnies. My husband is building them a hutch. He wants a preparedness plan in case the situation gets dire and the desperate brainbunnies start morphing into wild hares.

If you like this blog read our web magazines Virginia Greene http://www.vgreene.com/ and Greene Lite www.vgreene.com/greenelite.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

Pollution problems

2006-06-14T16:10:00.000-04:00

By Alex Carrier

Finally, the root of my problems. To be precise, the flower of my problems.

Nowhere in the travel/real estate brochures is there any caution provided to the unwary or unworldly visitor/soon-to-be-resident that the fresh air of the country has embedded in it a particularly heinous form of pollution – pollen pollution.

Not that I would move back to the city but a word of warning would have been greatly appreciated.

All my sniffling, sneezing, coughing, etc. is not just a mere virus, a dastardly germ but, in fact, a multitude of allergies. Back to the doctor for even more pharmaceuticals, potions, sprays, and suggestions.

No, I will not give up trees, shrubs or flowering bushes but I will not be rolling in the grass any time soon either. Or hanging my sheets outside to dry in sun-warmed, pollen-encrusted splendor. (No one ever explained what created that spring-fresh scent on line-dried linens.)

Luckily, modern medicine has made co-existing with pollen possible. With a bit of air conditioning, closed windows and some finely timed sprayed and ingested chemicals, getting my writing accomplished is much easier except for the inevitable drowsiness and difficulty seeing through the sneeze-guard in front of my monitor.

Fresh air, country quiet, meadows of wildflowers, rolling green fields and serene forested mountains have their own air quality dangers. Who knew?!

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at http://www.vgreene.com/ and www.vgreene.com/greenelite for Virginia Greene and Greene Lite on-line magaziens. Where you will find information on all authors and more content. © 2006 Virginia Greene

Feels like dead person walking

2006-06-10T23:44:00.000-04:00

By Alex Carrier

Nothing like a circling vulture to make you feel really sick. And, I had just gotten to that point of certainty where I knew I would have to get better to die.

All friends and family were unanimous in their diagnosis of flu but since the official season ended 2 weeks before I got sick, the nurse informed me I had – a virus.

Weeks of pharmaceuticals and cartons of juice and tissues later, I was well enough to feel only vaguely ill. And then –

A trip down the driveway to our mailbox was shadowed by a vulture. Make that vultures. A flock of 20-30 buzzards slowly flying overhead in ever tightening circles.

Perhaps I wasn’t much better after all. But, not to worry. The buzzards were not harbingers of my imminent demise…obviously. Just more local characters.

Seems that Capistrano has its returning swallows and Greene County has its returning buzzards. I don’t know when they left or where they went but they are back now.

The turkey vultures have returned to their warm weather haunts which just happens to be near my home. Wonderful.

While I am not completely thrilled to have such dubious neighbors, there is some solace in knowing they are not here specifically for me…yet.

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at http://www.vgreene.com/ and www.vgreene.com/greenelite for Virginia Greene and Greene Lite on-line magaziens. Where you will find information on all authors and more content. © 2006 Virginia Greene

Honor Memorial Day 2006

2006-05-29T18:26:00.000-04:00

A Memorial Day poem from Special Guest author Anna Alexander

Come ye heroes Rise Up

From your graves, wherever they may be.
Some honored, some unmarked, some beneath the sea.
Today we need to celebrate each of you,
Who fought ,though ill supplied, against enemies
On every side. We need to honor you .
Do not let US forget the price you paid.
The debt we owe, and less we forget
Amidst the picnics and parades
To honor you. Let us kneel down and PRAY!
To thank you for your sacrifice, for your family
Left alone to face the future. They too were brave,
To kiss you and say goodbye and never know
If you would die and left behind in an unmarked spot,
Or maimed and crippled return to say,
I am glad and have no remorse for the gift I fought
To save. Freedom, Oh use it well for it can tarnish
Without your help. I beg of you don't let anyone take it away.
Ring your bells, wave the flags, cheer the living
And bless the dead. AND Thank God with heart and soul
Or come and lie with me.

anna alexander
July 3, 2003©

NOTE: Anna Alexander is a military wife, mother and, finally, widow. Like many she is troubled by the possible decision to use audio tapes of buglers at military funerals.

To read more by this author and others, check our free Virginia Greene and Greene Lite On-line Magazines at www.vgreene.com and www.vgreene.com/greenelite

2006-03-18T23:46:00.000-05:00

A Poem, A Port, A Remembrance and

Greene Revelry

St. Patrick's Day
A poem by guest author Anna Alexander

Oh St Patrick’s Day is almost here

My calendar proclaims
And I have fallen back in time
Wishing I were young again
When all my world seemed green
And all my life was cheer
With the fragrance of corned beef
And a pail from the local pub of green beer

My Irish gramma held court at table with her tea
While her softened sibilants whispered words to me
Of times and places I am not sure
Were only in her mind , but how I loved those lovely words
And longed myself to see
The places that she spoke about to me

The kitchen was a castle and her chair a throne
My mother was a cook with charm
Her spoon it was a scepter
And dinner was a feast
Of boiled cabbage and corned beef.

We all wore something green
Mother would bake a cake
The frosting an emerald sheen
Smiles and laughter ; order of the day .
No one frowned or looked down ,
I wish it were so today

For life it was so simple then
When all I had to do was just be me
Safe and loved in the family nest
The memories that I recall
From my childhood days
These were ….THE BEST-MOMENTS OF THEM ALL

Anna Alexander 3/15/05©

For more positive entertainment, information and inspiration be Irish for the week with

Virginia Greene ezine

www.vgreene.com

more poems by Anna Alexander along with an essay titled
"Little Grandma: A Remebrance"
Port Dingle Diaries "A Commodore for St. Patrick's Day" by Virginia Greene
Boomer Journeys "A Pinch of Greene for St. Patricks' Day" by Alex Carrier

Greene Lite ezine

www.vgreene.com/greenelite

"Wear Your Greene Proud" by Lou Page
"A very special Hope" by Alex Carrier
PLUS - a recipe for grilled spicy sweet potatoes and more about the revelry and other activies in the Greene County area - including
Kid Pan Alley pictures and review

New issues coming out on Wednesday, March 22

2006-03-17T23:03:00.000-05:00

Greene beer stops traffic!
By Alex Carrier

And will for another few weeks. The beer isn’t green but traveling through Greene County, Virginia. Well, not actually beer but 40 fermenting vats.

The Coors plant across the Blue Ridge Mountains from Greene is adding a brewing operation to their bottling and distribution facility. So, 40 vats are taking the trip over the mountains and through Greene.

The trip is slow and quite the show for local residents who take time to watch and photograph the procession. Who says nothing big ever happens in the country?

Of course, the coolest part is when a specially equipped truck lifts poles and other hazards too low for the vats to travel underneath.

All traffic has to be halted both ways at the mountain pass allowing the trucks to travel in oncoming lanes in order to get under a bridge.

Luckily the vats are not carrying beer. Otherwise, some industrious souls might sit on top of the bridge with 12 foot long straws taking a good long sip as the trucks go underneath.

That is assuming the full vat would ever make it out of the county. I’m thinking it would disappear for a few hours while the rest of us had a really big block party.

So anyway you look at it, the beer was in Greene for St. Patrick’s Day. As for me, I’ll wait until the tanks have served their purpose and get a personal taste of the soon-to-be-homegrown brew.

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com and www.vgreene.com/greenelite where you will find information on all authors and more content.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-03-15T10:58:00.000-05:00

If you are what you eat…
Posted by Alex Carrier

If you are what you eat, then this month, I would be a chocolate covered Easter egg. No, not just any egg but one filled with a secret recipe of creamy sweetness, hand shaped with loving care and then individually dipped in white or dark chocolate, cooled, trimmed, carefully inspected for that just right yummy Easter egg goodness shape and quality (not the size of some wimpy chicken but almost a hefty goose egg size), wrapped by hand in crinkly cellophane and perfectly placed for my (and your) enjoyment.

Why is it that National Nutrition Month falls right between the sweet goodness of Valentines and the yummy sweetness of Easter? The spring season is even better here in Greene County because that is when the good souls at Shepherd of the Hills Catholic Church make their heavenly chocolate covered Easter eggs.

This year’s selection includes chocolate covered cherry, raspberry, orange, coconut, chocolate, peanut butter, butter cream, walnut and white chocolate covered walnut and chocolate. Irresistible.

These $1 mouthwatering marvels are helping finance the purchase of a new stove for the church kitchen. (Works for me!) And people wonder what is so nice about small-town living. Most of us know some member of the church and that is how you can get your hands and taste buds on these springtime delights.

Now, all I have to do is figure out how many extra minutes to exercise so I can work off these got-to-have-them calories.

Photos by Alex Carrier

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com and www.vgreene.com/greenelite
Where you will find information on all authors and more content.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-02-26T00:13:00.000-05:00

Genesis
By Special Guest Author
Anna Alexander

In the beginning

NOTHING

Vast emptiness, barren, bleak black space.
Black of the blackest black,
Deep, dark, densely black.
Intense black.
Painful black.

Not a star to shed a hint of light,
Only relentless, unending night.

Cold, freezing, frozen, frigid, airless space,
No sunfires to warm.
Only unfeeling, uncaring, dispassionate cold.

Dark so deep I am blind.
Cold so dreary I am mute.

Whatever I am, how infinitesimal,
Insignificant, however small I feel
Tetherless I move through endless space
Until I bump 'gainst Heaven's door.

Breathless, with no air to breathe,
Sightless, with no light.
Numb, dumb I hear a sound.
A deep, deep SNORE.

It is God sleeping.

From within I hear another sound,
A hundred, billion, billion, billion unborn voices SHOUT....

Photo: Genesis by Alex Carrier

Special Note: Anna and Alex are mother and daughter. This poem is one of Alex's favorites.

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at http://www.vgreene.com/ and www.vgreene.com/greenelite where you can find information on all authors and more content.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-02-25T09:09:00.000-05:00

5-line poems

Two poems by our special guest author Anna Alexander

Rooster
Dawn announcer
Welcomes the day
Boasts of his conquests
However hens lay the eggs.

Dogwoods
Blossoms wait
For sunny days
To burst into bloom
Snow on green boughs soon

anna alexander
5/1/04©

Photo: Impressions of Dogwood
By Alex Carrier

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com and www.vgreene.com/greenelite
for information on all authors and more content.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-02-21T14:17:00.000-05:00

What do you do when the Almighty comes to town? Build an ark.
By Alex Carrier

Well, not the Almighty by way of heaven but the Almighty by way of Hollywood in the form of Morgan Freeman. And, it’s not the story of Noah per se, but the story of Evan.

Through divine intervention or luck or, most likely, a lot of work; the movie Evan Almighty is being filmed right here in Central Virginia. This is the first sequel to the hit comedy Bruce Almighty which starred (along with Freeman as God) Jim Carrey and Jennifer Aniston. In this incarnation, Steve Carell, of The Office TV show, reprises his Bruce Almighty role as Evan Baxter to become the star and the recipient of God’s will.

A newly elected Congressman, Baxter gets the order from God “Build an ark.” (Long time fans of comedian Bill Cosby may think at this moment –“What’s a cubit?”). Go figure – Baxter’s family, friends, colleagues and neighbors find this a trifle odd and the story unfolds.

So, you might ask, what’s in this for me? Aha! If you are in Central Virginia, this project could mean your name in lights. Well, not actually but perhaps your name on the credits – well, unless your part ends up on the editing room floor.

All right, it means divine intervention has offered you the opportunity to become AN EXTRA in the movie. Time and God wait for no one so find out about auditions this weekend Feb.25-26, 2006 by checking www.vgreene.com/greenelite

As for that cubit. Get the comedy recording Bill Cosby is a Very Funny Fellow Right! Yes, it comes in an audio CD and, even if you have no special reason, give it to someone you love or like just because it is nice to give a smile.

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com and www.vgreene.com/greenelite You’ll find information on all authors and more content.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-02-20T09:31:00.000-05:00

Bland music competition anything but bland
By Alex Carrier

Saturday was another example of why people love living here. The Virginia Lion’s Club’s annual Bland Musical Competition treated an audience of about 75 to the sweet sounds of music preformed by local students.

The 10 participants reflected the diversity of this area. Competitors ranged in age from 10 to 18 and were almost equally divided between those in public school and those in private school or home-schooled.

The afternoon began with plaintive sounds of a violin solo by the day’s instrumental first-place winner Marianna Cutright. The 14-year-old home-schooled student was accompanied by her favorite pianist – her sister Emily who came in second in the instrumental category. Marianna hopes for a career playing professionally with a national symphony.

Micah Griswold, 18-year-old winner in the vocal category, is working toward a Broadway career. Her musical choice from Barber of Seville gave her ample opportunity to show off both her voice and her stage presence.

From an original arrangement on electric guitar to a trumpet solo to the classic bluegrass tune Cripple Creek played on banjo, everyone in the audience could find a musical favorite. Now, they all wait to see how the local winners will be judged at the next level of competition.

For more about the winners, pictures from the event and information about the Bland contest, check out our website: www.vgreene.com/greenelite

Phot by Alex Carrier

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com where you will find information on all authors and more content.
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-02-14T08:57:00.000-05:00

My Ancient Valentine
Posted by Lou Page

According to the History Channel, February has been a month of romance for a very long time. It dates back to ancient Greece, at least, and has been both a Roman and Christian tradition. Yet, according to the History Channel, it is a tradition still "shrouded in mystery."

See the History Channel's History of Valentines Day

In Ancient Athens, February was dedicated to the sacred marriage of Zeus and Hera, according to Wikipedia. It was called the month of Gamelion.

National Geographic poses a question for kids, Do Animals Love Each Other?

For a look at valentine cards of the past, visit the West Virginia Library's Vintage Valentine Collection and Indiana University's Victorian Valentine Cards.

Romance your Love with Alex Carrier's "I made it myself" heart healthy Valentine's Dinner"

Photo by Alex Cariier
"Feline Fancy"

If you like this blog, read more by these authors and find more Valentine links at www.vgreene.com/greenelite
For information on all authors and content, go to http://www.vgreene.com/
© 2006 Your Small Town, LLC

2006-02-12T07:11:00.000-05:00

Anatomy of a winter morn

A poem by our special guest
Anna Alexander

No rosy rays to launch the day
Or announce the morn
But bright gray light to tell
Another day is born
From gray banks
Of endless clouds
Snow gently rains down
Silently, making it’s architect proud
Building a fairy land
In my back yard
Like a frosted wedding cake
It decorates my lawn
Mounds of snow blossoms
Transform the shrubs
Icing outlines each
Limb and branch and bud
Tightly closed waiting
For Spring to come
Birds and squirrels
Seek seed and nuts
Dropped upon the lawn
Bare beneath the trees
Where green grasses can
Still be found
No wind disturbs my fairy land
How long I do not know
Still I will enjoy it
Until weather warms
And south wind blows and
Melts my fairy land of snow...

anna alexander
January 9, 2004©

Anna, long-time writer and artist, claims special recognition and gratitude as mother of writer Alex Carrier

Photo by Alex Carrier
“Winter Silhouettes in Black and White”

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com/greenelite
For information on all authors and content, go to www.vgreene.com
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-02-11T15:18:00.000-05:00

Go Snow, Go?
Posted by Lou Page

Looks like Mother Nature turned on her vapor diffusion chamber.
“What?!,” you may ask.
To make snow.

That’s what Kenneth G. Libbrecht, of Caltech, did to create beautiful snow crystals, all delightfully described at SnowCrystals.com. His website includes other recipes for snowflakes, describes the physics of snowflakes, has galleries of snowflake pictures, even shows movies revealing the delicate birth and growth of snow crystals.
To get hyperscience high on snow, blizzards, avalanches and much more, visit All About Snow, developed by the National Snow and Ice Data Center in Boulder, Colorado. The site was recommended by the National Science Teachers Association.
Can you imagine sculpting the intricate, sometimes baffling mobius strip with snow? The Science News article, Knot Divided in Snow, shows fabulous pics and describes just how it was done at the Snow Sculpture Championships in Breckenridge, Colorado by mathematician Stan Wagon of Macalester College in St. Paul, Minnesota.
For the youngest among us, visit, A First Grade Snowy Day, by Mrs. Palmore's first grade class at Pocantico-Hills School in Sleepy Hollow, New York.
Go snow, go!

Photo by Lou Page of her "budding snow leopard" (cat) Cremey outside in today's snow.
See real snow leopards at the Snow Leopard Trust

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com/greenelite
For information on all authors and content, go to www.vgreene.com
© 2006 Your Small Town, LLC

2006-02-07T22:39:00.000-05:00

Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice.
BEETLE JUICE!?!

By Alex Carrier

Reality bites.

I adore licorice. As a child, I loved taking those twists of black candy, tying them in knots and making them into odd shapes. I could play with this sweet edible and skip the whole “don’t play with your food” lecture. It was candy heaven.

The licorice sweetness turned my lips, teeth, tongue and mouth into a magnificent grossness that left adults disgusted.

Children love to disgust adults. It is power. It is fun.

As a teenager, I added ice cream to my licorice list. In our town, couples often ended dates at the local ice cream parlor.

The parlor served my two favorite flavors. The bubble gum was cold, creamy Bazooka in a bowl. The licorice colored my mouth and everything in it a delectable slate black hue for hours.

I found this most helpful when encouraging unpalatable dates not to me kiss good-night. Eating licorice ice cream rendered my lips ideally – unkissable.

As an adult, I fell for those lovely little bites of licorice deliciously hidden inside white and purple shells of candy goodness.

Which brings me to reality.

I was savoring one of those candy-coated licorice delights while watching the news. As cruel fate would have it, the featured story concerned the use of ground up beetles to add red color to foods. Yech!

Then reality (remember how cruel it can be) reared its ugly head to inform me that my beloved licorice confection (the one in my mouth at that very moment) was colored with ground up beetles. Yech!

What tragedy. Each crunch of candy reverberating through my head sounded like a stepped on beetle. Yech!

I am currently seeking another yummy variation of my licorice love and I have determined that next time reality bites – I am going to bite back!

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com/greenelite
For information on all authors and content, go to http://www.vgreene.com/
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-02-06T23:53:00.000-05:00

SuperBowl commercials - you paid how much!?!
By Alex Carrier

A day of reviewing SuperBowl spots and I’ve reached several conclusions. Some commercials were aggressively forgetful. Some left me confused. Some left me annoyed.

I mostly dislike commercials that don’t identify the product up front. I wanted to like some but couldn’t. I’m a pushover for warm, fuzzies and like ads that make me feel good.

If I remember the commercial not the product, it’s a good vignette but a lousy ad.

With special mention for Bud Light’s “Roof Grill” (which resonates with every woman who loves her man) and Emerald Nuts “Druid” spot (because I wonder how long it took to come up with the tag), here are my top six.

Budweiser is a perennial favorite so, no surprise, Number 6 is the “The Streaker”.

Number 5 featured Kermit the Frog promoting Ford’s Escape hybrid. The spot showed you can be eco-wise and still enjoy adventures.

I love the subtle, simple message of Number 4 - United Airlines sophisticated, stylish animation “Knight”...

Number 3 is Dove’s “True Colors” effort to build self-esteem in girls – part of the female-beauty-has-many-forms campaign.

Hummer delivers a spot worth the labor in “The Monster” love story between robot and creature. Number 2 goes all mushy over the birth of a vehicle.

Number 1 bookends my picks with another Budweiser spot “The Barn.” I haven’t wanted a horse so much since I tried to convince my parents I could keep a pony in my bedroom closet. Budweiser excels at satisfying surprise endings.

If you want to see the commercials, go to AOL’s site at http://sports.aol.com/nfl/superbowlads. I am going to watch my favorites one – or more times.

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com/greenelite
For information on all authors and content, go to http://www.vgreene.com/
© 2006 Virginia Greene

2006-02-05T19:17:00.000-05:00

A superbowl is a really nice container
By Alex Carrier

Down stuffs pillows and duvets. Tackle is used for fishing. Yardage is a piece of fabric.

Game time. Aaron and Aretha wow us with a stirring, soulful national anthem. Kick-off. Frenzied fans watch Seahawks fight Steelers for bragging rights.

Hidden behind platters of snacks or settled between computer monitor and plasma screen, other fans yearn for a different play. They wait with quiet anticipation for their double delight: commercials and half-time show.

We are many, these fans who salivate for that conversational caviar of the water cooler and coffee klatch. We drool over every half-time mishap or malfunction. We chew our way through new commercials to find the ones that satisfy and the ones that leave a bad taste.

The commercials begin and we appear with platters of flavor to distract others from our attention to the play between the plays. Half-time arrives and we eagerly await the one moment of performance disaster that will fuel gossips, newscasters and tabloids for days or even weeks to come.

Some of us will suffer silently through color-commentary, second-guessing, instant replays and armchair quarterbacking. Many of us will simply hide far away from the broadcast blast.

But, late tonight, huddled expectantly over savory reheated leftovers; we will scan past our recordings of the game to replay, review and rewind every exorbitant, expensive second of new commercials and half-time entertainment.

Photo by Alex Carrier of Greene County’s William Monroe High School mascot – the Greene Dragon.

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com/greenelite

2006-02-02T20:37:00.000-05:00

Weather lies and a GreeneLite
Posted by Alex Carrier

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a woodchuck can’t chuck wood, why is it called a woodchuck?

For that matter, why is it called a groundhog? It’s not a hog and, unless pigs CAN fly, they’re earthbound; so isn’t the name groundhog rather redundant anyway?

And why, with trained experts using scientific equipment informing us on meteorological conditions, are we cheerfully willing to a let a chunky, furry albeit cute rodent predict the next six weeks of weather?
The weather answer is logical. We will have six more weeks of winter because the season is approximately 12 weeks long and we are halfway through. Duh!

Punxsutawney Phil (and don’t you know I cut and pasted that spelling) is a nice enough looking fellow as are Jimmy, Willie, Dave, PeeWee, Birmingham Bill and General Beau Lee, PhD. And if you don’t mind bucktooth prognosticators, then, yes; Phil saw his shadow and has predicted another six weeks of winter. Go figure.

If you would like some sunlight at the end of your winter blues tunnel, think Greene and visit our new website www.vgreene.com/greenelite

You can find this blog there as well as pictures, articles and Lord-knows-what-else-strikes-our-fancy as we work to empower, inform, inspire and entertain our readers. Although our base readership is people who live in and around Greene County, Virginia; we think anyone can get a smile out of our positive look at life.

As for weather predictions, I have found that the most accurate accounting of today’s forecast is found during tomorrow’s weather report.

If you like this blog, read more by these authors at www.vgreene.com/greenelite

2006-02-01T19:57:00.000-05:00

“Chinese – Year of the Dog – 2006,
Americans – Year of the Dog – Any year!”

Posted by Alex Carrier

Traditionally, I’m a rabbit – at least as far as the Chinese Zodiac goes. Personally, I am a dog and cat lover.

Like most Americans owned by pets (you are out there and you know who you are), my animals are pampered, spoiled and loved. Life is good – if you are one of my pets.

Country people keep pets for practical reasons. We have hunting dogs, mouser cats, guard-the-yard dogs and attack-if-you-enter-my-house cats. We also have a-member-of-the-family pets.

How people relate to pets is best explained in answer to this question. “Between people and pets, there isn’t enough room on my bed for comfortable sleep. What should I do?”

Non-pet lovers say, “Get rid of the pets.” Practical pet lovers say “Make the animals sleep on the floor.”

The “pets are people too” pet lovers say, “Get a bigger bed.” Which may be why manufacturers have created a 10 foot wide mega-bed. Just in time to celebrate the “Year of the Dog” by giving Fido and Fluffy and Rover more space to sleep.

Learn more about the Chinese Zodiac at
Chinese Culture Center's Children Web Class

Photo by Alex Carrier

Greene Primary School children celebrate

Chinese New Year with indoor parade.

Read more from the Port Dingle Diaries authors
www.vgreene.com/greenelite

2006-01-17T12:53:00.000-05:00

Women, men and who’s on top now.
By Alex Carrier

Another night, another award show. The statues might be called “Golden Globes” but it always seems that there are as many globes hanging out as there are ones being handed out. Although most women dressed in uplifting fashion, a few could have used a little uplift.

For me, the best of this year’s show and winners were the good actresses portraying strong, powerful female characters. My personal favorite Geena Davis took home acclaim as the feminine and forceful “Commander-in-Chief”. I can only pray that this portends a near future with a woman holding the power in the Oval office from behind the desk and not from under it.

Davis treated the audience to a faux tale of a young girl being inspired to become President by Davis’s performance. The reality is we finally have more powerful female characters for girls to emulate.

Another outstanding performer is S. Epatha Merkerson who won as best supporting actress for her role in Lackawanna Blues . There was plenty to admire in both winners and nominees.

These women have brains, curves, sense and sensuality. Both actresses and characters inspire with style and substance, humor and intelligence.

Although I admit to being a rabid Mel Brooks fan, it was a pleasure to see the South rise to the top in the Carter/Cash love story “Walk the Line” with wins for the movie and best actress Reese Witherspoon and best actor Joaquin Phoenix.

When I first started writing, I explored several genres including romance. The hot ticket then was a love story with a cowboy as the hero. Wonder what those editors would have thought of the night’s big winner being a story featuring two cowboys in love – with each other. Looks like the Wild West is a lot wilder than usually portrayed.

Cheers to finally recognizing that real women can have a strong side and still be feminine. I think men may still have to wait awhile to prove that sensitive masculinity is possible no matter whom you love.